This is what I wore on Friday to run errands with my son. The weather here lately has been all over the place, sunny one minute and cold and rainy the next. What I like about this outfit is that its comfortable and versatile. If it was raining I could have worn my rain boots or my leather boots and added a scarf for some warmth and color.
Onto the title of this blog: 7 year anniversary and how to avoid the dreaded 7 year itch!!! First off I want to wish my husband a very happy 7 year anniversary. Yesterday marked 7 years of marriage to this wonderful man. I can not believe how fast 7 years has gone by. We celebrated with Metallica but I won’t go more into details as I’m saving that for my next blog.
My husband and I met 11 years ago at a Hungarian Dance festival in Calgary. To make a long story short, I was dating someone else at the time so that was that. Fast forward to 1 year later and I was single and so was my husband :). We met up again at yet another Hungarian Dance festival, but this time in Winnipeg. We chatted on the way to the airport, he lived in Vancouver and I lived in Edmonton. We exchanged contact information and we each went our separate way. Below is a picture taken 10 years ago this October. Oh look at how young we both look in this picture.
We chatted via phone and e-mail, and I visited him in December and the rest is history. We continued the long distance relationship until I was finished my Nursing Degree, and at the first chance I had, moved here to the lower mainland. Through out our relationship my husband would tell me that he had a surprise for me and I would reply “I don’t care if you gave me a potato, I will love it, because I know its coming from a place of love”. My husband replied “be careful what you say because someday I might just give you a potato”. I never thought anything more about the “potato”, and the the night I moved here from Alberta is the night he proposed to me via a potato. Below is the precious “potato”.
Below are some pictures of our beautiful and magical day 🙂
Onto the second part: how to avoid the dreaded 7 year itch. I am by no means an expert and believe me my marriage has its ups and downs. I am not claiming to have all the answers; this is my opinion and my experience. 7 years of marriage is a long time, especially when you think about Hollywood marriages. I am certainly not comparing my marriage to those in Hollywood, I’m just saying. I think that the first thing you need to do is enter into a marriage with realistic expectations. Don’t expect your husband to change into what you want him to be. He is who is he, and if you are not happy with who he is before you are married, then you certainly won’t be happy with him afterwards.
You need to grow together and sometimes that is very hard to do. You need to allow the other person to grow and become who they want to be, at the same time they need to do the same thing for you. You need to be supportive of one another and learn that sometimes one will give more then the other, but it always balances out.
You need to realize that no marriage is perfect. There is no such thing!!! Each couple owns their marriage and their relationship and no one should be comparing their relationship to someone else’s. You don’t know what goes on behind closed doors. You need to focus on yourselves and not what other people are doing.
Remember each marriage and relationship has natural ebbs and flows. Its natural, that at the beginning before kids, things will be filled with cupid and hearts, and then once reality sets in, things will get more challenging and difficult. That’s when you need to work through it and communicate, and understand that this is a normal part of anyone’s relationship. If you look at any relationship you have ever had, they all have natural ups and downs. A marriage is about how you handle those ups and downs. Its totally normal to feel like your marriage is in a rut especially after having kids and that’s why I named my blog how to avoid the dreaded 7 year itch. I don’t really believe that’s its an itch. I believe that its just a natural part of your marriage and that you should acknowledge and work on it.
Kids don’t bring a couple closer. I believe initially kids do, but then reality sets in; sleep deprivation sets in; roles set in; expectations set in and things change. I love my son with all my being but I have to say that once he was born, my husband and my relationship changed. We no longer had time for just us, now it was the 3 Amigo’s. Finding time to spend alone together initially was next to impossible, especially since we have no family here to help. Once we found a good baby sitter things got a little easier. Its the hardest thing to do but the best thing in my opinion, make time for just the 2 of you. You, your marriage and your relationship need it. How can we expect our marriage to survive if we don’t nurture it? Remember it doesn’t have to be big or cost a lot of money, its about spending some “alone” time together.
Marriage is work, plain and simple. If you believe that its not then you are lying to yourself. I know that sounds harsh, but its the truth. My husband and I had a great relationship before Aiden came along, had a great foundation, but after he was born, it tested us and made us work harder. I’m not comparing it to working in the mines but like anything in life, if you don’t work at it, you can’t sustain it!
Like it or not marriage is about compromise. That can be very difficult when you have 2 very stubborn people in the relationship but in order to keep the peace, sometimes you have to bite the bullet and be a bigger person. It shouldn’t be about being right and I know that that is very hard. Sometimes we just want to be right.
Be honest and open with each other, communicate. I feel like if you don’t have trust and honesty in a relationship then you are doomed. You need to feel safe to tell the other person how you feel. How can you fix things if you don’t talk to each other?
I know personally that my husband and I work on our marriage each and every day and that there will always be ups and downs and obstacles that we have to overcome. I know that no matter what as long as we stick together we can get through anything.
My fashion advice for this blog is to go into your closet and put together a new outfit. I know that I am the worse person for saying I have nothing to wear. The problem is that we get into this rut where we wear the same things, the same way. Since starting this blog, reading other blogs and actively “Pinning”, I have looked at my wardrobe in a different way. I’ve played dress-up and I’ve tried to put together different outfits of things that I already own. So ladies go into your closet and see what wonderful new outfits you can create and remember to also go through your jewelry and accessories.
Remember 2 very important things:
1. It has to fit properly. No mommy jeans!!! No jeans that show a muffin top and no low rise jeans.
2. The outfit must make you feel pretty. No looking in the mirror and thinking “blah”. You need to smile at yourself and feel pretty. No excuses!!! 🙂
May this blog inspire you to believe in love; to work at your marriage; to realize that every marriage has its issues, and to create a new outfit from clothes found in your closet.
If you feel like sharing your outfits you can comment on my blog or send me a picture at firstname.lastname@example.org
Happy Tuesday everyone!!! 🙂